Modern Woman

THE standard advice when confronted with a tantrum is to ignore the negative behaviour and hope the perpetrator gets tired of stamping their feet and behaving like an idiot and eventually grows out of it.

However, when faced with a repeat offender whose behaviour escalates to the point of being even beyond the help of Super Nanny, it would appear that the correct response, in conservative circles at least, is to ask them to inspire young people.

So we have shock jock Alan Jones speaking to the Sydney University Young Liberals (and there's a group of young offenders who could have done with some extra hugging and early intervention) and telling them that Prime Minister Julia Gillard's recently deceased father "died of shame because of the lies she told".

Aside from the fact Jones should not be allowed to speak about shame since he obviously doesn't have any, or lies because he evidently doesn't understand their difference from the truth, I am tired of Jones' misogyny going unchallenged by those who know better (Barnaby Joyce, Tony Abbott, Julie Bishop - I mean you).

My theory is since Jones only managed three B-doubles and a couple of artistically challenged and illiterate placard-wavers for his carbon tax rally in Canberra, which only grabbed any attention at all because he abused a female journalist, he's increasingly had to hold his breath for longer spells and turn even more cyan to get any sort of attention.

According to Jones, women in power are apparently "destroying the joint" - interesting since, although my knowledge of history is certainly less than comprehensive and I would never claim to be an expert, the Falklands War is the only armed conflict in the past 100 years I can think of where a woman has made the decision to invade. As opposed to two world wars, Vietnam, Korea, Iraq, Afghanistan, where men were in the positions of power. (This is not to say that I blame the patriarchy for everything, although I do think it should take responsibility for long work hours, cosmetic surgery, golf and reality TV).

Give me more of Julia Gillard's National Disability Insurance Scheme or dental-care-for-those-who-

can't-afford-it type destruction any day. I'm not convinced any joint will be destroyed and they might just make a difference to the lives of people who don't get paid hundreds of thousands of dollars to rabbit out incoherently ridiculous rabid no-thought bubbles whose only claim to originality is their overblown aggression and sycophancy to the lunatic fringe.

Two of the other strategies recommended by experts for dealing with repeated bad behaviour are withholding pocket money (about time, sponsors, although the Woolworths executive's donation of a chaff bag jacket is more tasteless than their tomatoes and as unsupportable as their war on dairy farmers) and a time-out. Surely it's about time little Alan was taught if you keep saying bad words you get sent to the naughty corner; who knows, maybe he and Cory Bernardi might be able to come up with a game to amuse themselves and relieve the rest of us from having to listen to their juvenile and offensive rants - apart from the Young Liberals, who deserve to get what they paid for.

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