The cruel twist Karl didn’t see coming
Irony is a cruel dame.
One year after being the subject of his own witch hunt, Karl Stefanovic has pulled himself down off the fiery stake and led the charge on Meghan Markle's witch hunt.
And because viewers aren't idiots, they've now flipped the Meghan witch hunt on the Channel 9 host and started a brand new Karl witch hunt.
It has all backfired in an extraordinary yet predictable way - it's very typical of Chanel 9 not to see it coming. They were probably too busy hosting a Liberal Party fundraiser to forecast such a predicament.
Karl's segment about the downfall of Meghan Markle is set to air on tonight's 60 Minutes but it was rubbished worldwide as soon as the promotional teaser was released on Wednesday.
The sizzle clip (promoted online with the hashtag #Megxit!) promises an investigation into how the Duchess of Sussex has spiralled into a pit of bad PR and is igniting a "royal crisis" - and how, only a year after her fairytale wedding to Prince Harry, her popularity has plummeted and she has gone from "adored to insufferable".
What's funny is Channel 9 hated it when we all examined the total crisis of how Karl went from "adored to insufferable" following his marriage breakdown.
And those two ladies who now host Nine's breakfast show keep getting self-righteous and bemoaning the fact everyone examines how Today plunged into the toilet following Karl's axing. It's not like any of us went to the trouble of making a clunky hashtag like #Todayxit.
Sorry, but you can't have it both ways.
In the teaser for the 60 Minutes segment, Meghan's private jet controversy and outfits are brought up. Interesting. Again, Karl was battered and bruised when everyone raised an eyebrow at the yachts he was sailing around on and the fedora he started wearing before his extravagant Mexican wedding.
Snippets from the episode show Karl interviewing British TV personalities Lizzie Cundy and Katie Hopkins - and the decision to include the latter controversial commentator has added to the outrage. Of course, Nine is probably going to be cheeky and present the segment to look like Karl is challenging these detractors. It's a nice little trick, but no one's fooled - the show is just amplifying and capitalising on the "Megxit" narrative and giving the naysayers a bigger platform. Even if they couch it, the damage is done.
It totally unravels Nine's year-long strategy to rehabilitate their highest paid and most under-worked star.
The whole point of warehousing Karl and only rolling him out for occasional 60 Minutes reports (and getting him to do that This Time Next Year show which is basically just before-and-after photos of people on Jenny Craig) was to rebuild his image and get viewers to take him seriously after everyone got sick of him following his split.
Will all this worldwide outrage push Channel 9 to do a last minute edit and soften the segment that goes to air tonight? Who knows.
Maybe they'll get Karl to offer Meghan some tips about what not to do next.
THE THING WE'RE NOT ALLOWED TO SAY
Have you seen the new Quentin Tarantino movie Once Upon A Time in Hollywood? It's a divisive one that has inspired many bloggers to publish their arts degree essays about how much of a gratuitously violent, sexist and misogynistic wankfest it is.
It's one of the best movies of the year and I'd take it any day over the piece of junk I saw the other week - the Aussie film Palm Beach.
It feels like there's an unspoken rule that no one's allowed to criticise an Australian film - like they're an endangered species and slapping one around the neck means they'll all quickly die off and never exist again.
Let's go for it. Palm Beach stinks. I don't want to get bogged down in the synopsis but it's basically about a bunch of Baby Boomers making lame jokes about erectile dysfunction and dry vaginas while sitting around a really nice house.
Can we get a movie about Baby Boomers that doesn't present their life as just one big downward slope into decrepitness?
That's a bit more offensive than a Quentin Tarantino movie.