Opinion

Pauline Hanson's chocolate eggs in the wrong basket

Senator Pauline Hanson.
Senator Pauline Hanson. AAP IMAGE/REBECCA LE MAY

CAN someone please, please stop Pauline Hanson before she hurts herself.

Having spent years in her fish and chip shop, her latest call for a Cadbury chocolate egg ban tells me she is well and truly fried.

Is she serious?

I get it, it's got the attention, the headlines, kept her relevant, prominent, yada yada.

But does she, in her heart of hearts, really, truly believe and stand by her position?

If so, she has more willpower than Edmund Hillary and Nelson Mandela combined.

LATEST: Waleed Aly mocks Hanson's Easter egg halal boycott

How can she resist, on Easter, crunching into a delicious, glass-and-a-half containing Cadbury egg?

Will Hanson's call change your Easter egg purchases?

This poll ended on 19 April 2017.

Yes, I support Hanon's boycotts and will buy other brands. - 37%

No, halal certification is harmless. - 59%

I boycott other halal certified products, but don't think I can resist chocolate. - 3%

This is not a scientific poll. The results reflect only the opinions of those who chose to participate.

It's the one day of the year you're given a free pass on chocolate, a golden ticket to euphoria all day (weekend) long.

Someone needs to keep a camera trained on her every move all Easter weekend, I'm tipping a slip-up.

Surely at some point she has to weaken, give in to the cravings and crack open a Caramello egg?

 

 

Cadbury Dairy Milk easter eggs. 
Photo Contributed
Cadbury Dairy Milk easter eggs. Photo Contributed Contributed

What if her lieutenant Jimmy Ashby tears the foil off a fresh Creme Egg?

Her convictions must weaken, melt even, in the face of such a challenge?

By taking her anti-halal certification stance she is isolating herself from two of life's true pleasures.

Cadbury chocolate and Vegemite.

And you can't tell me Pauline doesn't mind hitting the sauce and ripping into a kebab afterwards?

I'm beginning to wonder if Pauline is actually human?

Is it possible she is some sort of evolved robot? Or a Strassman-like puppet, with Ashby playing the role of Jim Henson?

Maybe she uses the plane to reboot her system as she jets from town to town.

Or perhaps she is cold and hard, her heart frozen over by the body blow that is denying herself three of life's treasures.

In arguing against halal certification, under, among other explanations, the intellectual notion that it is un-Australian, Senator Hanson has just gone and committed one of the most un-Australian crimes of our generation.

Telling people to boycott Cadbury chocolate eggs is akin to hanging Ned Kelly, beating Bob Hawke in a scull-off or taking Makybe Diva's name in vain.

You wouldn't ask Queenslanders to swap a XXXX for a Tooheys New, so don't ask me to swap a Cadbury for a Quality Street.

There are traditions in this country we must hold sacred.

She of all people should know this.

Chief among those is the joy that comes with smashing your first Cadbury hollow egg of Easter over your forehead and ripping in with reckless abandon.

Given the lack of political engagement in this country, Sen Hanson may have just cooked her goose with this wildly misdirected call to arms.

Pauline, I'm sorry, but I just don't like it.

Topics:  chocolate column easter federal government my say one nation party opinion pauline hanson politics senate senator


Stay Connected

Update your news preferences and get the latest news delivered to your inbox.

Regurgitator to rock for the Northern Rivers

FUNDRAISER: Regurgitator.

Flood reflief fundraiser by rock bands

Flood appeals unite us all in benefit concert

Ballina Shire concert band taking part in Lismore Flood Appeal concert at Lismore Workers' Club.

A flood relief benefit concert called Lismore's Back will be held

Loving living at the heart in Lismore

There has been a lot of talk about how much we loved Lismore

Local Partners

American Gods a dream role for Ricky Whittle

THE 100 star talks mythology yand working with Ian McShane on highly-anticipated new series.

House Rules: "I watched as they destroyed my house"

Fiona and Nicole were both in shock at the move. Picture: Supplied

Contestant given just minutes before her entire home was demolished

'I feel incredible':Coast woman's weight loss win

Biggest Loser: Transformed contestant Nikki Henderson training at Mooloolaba Beach.

The weight loss show changed contestant Nikki Henderson's life

Amy and Tyson Murr feast on My Kitchen Rules win

SWEET SUCCESS: MKR 2017 winners Amy and Tyson Murr celebrate their glorious victory.

Controversial siblings secure $250,000 prize in MKR finale.

What's on the small screen this week

My Kitchen Rule's mother and daughter contestants Valerie and Courtney.

MY KITCHEN Rules grand finalists face off and Love Child returns.

Ten things to do this week

POPULAR: The first food truck event at Byron YAC last year.

From food trucks to the Nimbin MardiGrass

Affordable rentals out of reach for North Coast residents

Rental affordability hits new crisis levels

Falling rents could spell doom for housing prices

What if I told you housing in Australia was getting cheaper?

Couple gets rich renovating run-down city homes

RENO RADICALS: Baden and Nelson Marino-Hall have turned three Toowoomba homes around for profit, saying the Garden City was a haven for renovators like themselves.

The couple has already turned around three homes

Townhouse pitch raises questions over 'high density'

BIG PLANS: Residents have a chance to offer their opinion on plans to build 42 townhouses at Raceview.

Developer plans 42 townhouses for Ipswich suburb

7 million dollar city homes for sale right now

3 Keira Court, Blue Mountain Heights.

Here are seven of Toowoomba's best, and most expensive, houses

Ready to SELL your property?

Post Your Ad Here!