WHICH direction do you live your life? By that I mean are you focused on the past or focused on the future?
It interests me when I work with individuals and hear comments like "I don't want that to happen again" or "I'm looking forward to what tomorrow brings".
Statements like this give an indication of whether a person is anchored in their past and will make decisions based on fear, anxiety or avoidance or whether they are focused on the future with possibility, change and opportunity.
The challenge with living in the past is that we will often attribute new opportunity or experiences with previous painful results and set up an anticipation that these things will happen again. Have you ever heard someone say "that always happens to me" or "I'd never be able to do that"?
Essentially it generates a self-fulfilling prophecy creating exactly the result anticipated and reconfirming the negative belief. Essentially we cut ourselves short by this attribution.
If you want to deal with this what's the answer?
To me, and remembering that this is only my view, it is a straightforward and honest approach to ourselves in any situation.
Potentially the first step is to reframe ourselves in that situation. Rather than the "here we go again, I know this will turn out badly" the opportunity is to use our self-talk to challenge the situation differently.
Perhaps it's as simple as saying "here we go again, I can make this turn out differently because I know what I want to happen".
By the way, yes, change requires effort so if you're not committed to it nothing will change.
According to my amazing wife, we only get the challenges we can deal with. Taking that a step further, then, they repeat until we take control of our lives, apply change and learn the lesson.
Energetically the process revolves around being clear in what you do want and focusing your intention on the outcome with calm clarity rather than challenging any obstacle with your own (lack of) self-worth or ability to make things happen.
When we learnt to walk it took practice and encouragement and we fell down a lot, when we learnt to write or to read it took time, effort and perseverance.
When we learnt to ride a bike, skateboard, surf, drive - in fact any new skill that is actually a change of state - it takes concentration and then patience to develop.
What am I saying? The future is waiting for you to make it happen. It is not a foregone conclusion unless you have entrenched yourself behind the barricades of self-limiting beliefs.
Nick Bennett is a facilitator, performance coach and partner of Minds Aligned.
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