'Fun' holiday camps are great when they involve getting into canoes, playing ball games, telling ghost stories at night, eating lots of sausages and tomato sauce. They are not fun when they involve confined spaces, says Airdre.
'Fun' holiday camps are great when they involve getting into canoes, playing ball games, telling ghost stories at night, eating lots of sausages and tomato sauce. They are not fun when they involve confined spaces, says Airdre. Karen Berry

Gin and tonic over small spaces any day

PLEASE don't tell anyone, but I am a big scaredy cat. Yes, that's right, A yellow-bellied, lily-livered, chicken-hearted fraidycat. Keep it to yourself, I wouldn't want it getting around. God forbid anyone would think I was human. The thing is, I hate enclosed spaces. I think I know why.

When I was just a whipper-snapper ((what exactly is a whipper-snapper?) I went to a 'fun' holiday camp with a bunch of other innocents. There we did 'fun' things like get into canoes, play ball games, tell ghost stories at night, eat lots of sausages and tomato sauce, engage in group activities - you get the picture.

One day the 'fun' activity was to see how many people we could fit into a mini. Hardy har har. What a 'fun' idea. Do you see what's coming? Good sport and "eager to please” soul that I am, I piled gaily into the back seat of the two-door mini. Suddenly I was stuck. I couldn't get out. More big kids piled in. Many more. Possibly hundreds.

I hit the panic button! I screamed and kicked and tried to fight my way out. Using the force of the sheer adrenaline energy of the super freaked out, I managed to work my head and shoulders past the mash of bodies and out of the door. The rest of the group was now wedged, bawling and yelling, all set off by hysterical me.

Suddenly a voice commanded, "SMILE!”

The whole heaving, sobbing and shouting mass, including badly stuck me, froze, smiled and a photo was taken. Then, faster than you could see kids run from a packet of peanuts at a party, the car was emptied. I think one or two might have accidentally on purpose have kicked me on the way out. I wasn't very popular at camp after that.

But that was it for me and enclosed spaces. I have been known to not go into crowded lifts (that's madness) and I m not very keen on crowded rooms with no obvious exit. (sensible).Call me a wuss if you will. I can only agree. I happily accept the title. While you explore dungeons or caves or climb into tiny aerial lifts with hundreds of others you'll find me in the bar having a soothing gin and tonic.


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