Thank you for being upfront about your desire to leave the employ of the Australian people.
Unfortunately we can't accept your resignation at this time, as there is a contract in place that you need to fulfil.
I think you'd agree that we've been good to you to this point and we certainly gave you a clear option of leaving a few months ago, before you signed your new contract.
You may recall that we discussed with you some earlier key performance indicator shortcomings and you made a commitment to address those issues.
It would appear you haven't given it the old college try.
We understand that change can be hard, but that's true for anyone who starts in a new position, so we'd encourage you to buckle down and give it a damn good attempt.
Sadly, you and your friends have decided that your own office spats are more important than the good of the company.
This takes the focus away from our shareholders, the good people of Australia - and that is never a good result.
I must point out that the company can ill-afford the expense of your decision to break your contract on the first day of operation. We need the money we would have to spend replacing you to develop plans to improve the health and lives of the broader community.
I'm sure you'll understand our position and settle back into the role you signed up for.
We understand it's tough, but so is being sick with no decent health services, or being unemployed.
With all of this in mind, we must refuse your resignation. If you don't return to work, our legal team will be in touch.
Yours in Anticipation,
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