S Sense

Theres a fine layer of sawdust on my Cambodian Buddha, which I bought in Vietnam, with American dollars. From a Chinese guy.

The sawdust should have been created by a Chinese electric orbital sander which I bought for less bucks than a bunch of bananas. (You can get one free with every tank of petrol in some places.)

But in fact the sawdust was created by my sanding the benches and windows by hand because that bloody Oriental heap of junk caused me to have violent fits of Chinese Tool Rage. The sandpaper would constantly fly off the sander! The machine was obviously designed by an anti-imperialist tool terrorist whose intention is to destroy the mental stability of bargain-loving, D.I.Y. Westerners.

I miss my kitchen. The kitchen renovations have slowed and its like a bomb has hit.

Even finding a cup for tea is a major operation. My kitchen is Afghanistan and the debris has spilled into neighbouring rooms. My tea cup is hiding out in a cardboard cave somewhere, smiling under its beard.

There is, so far, half a kitchen which is good for, like, entrees. But Operation Finally Finish The Bastard is on pause because of an unforeseen circumstance. (Get well, Willie. We need you. {Well I need you at least [but thats not why Im saying this. I just wanted to see all the brackets and the full stops clustered at the end of this sentence.].})

Wow, check em out. Is correct punctuation wild? Or what?!

Its, like, well I dunno emotional I guess; maybe almost beautiful. Those little marks squiggles really that live in the nether lands (Holland?) of the keyboard outside of the alphabet alliance; they rock.

Oh yeah, we sing the praises of the ABCs from childhood, but the strange scratches and symbols that infect our sentences like some sort of written ringworm we sing their praises not.

And dont get me started on the apostrophes functions intricacies.

Even the punctuationally ambivalent Jesus(s) pleas for planetary sanity were punctuated by the twelve apostrophes. Apostro-dudes trouble is that its very possessive. (Me too.) Except of course its (?) possessiveness is not always evident.

My favourite punctuation? The question mark. Are not question marks the troublemakers of the literary world? They inquire too much. They probably have a drinking problem. They know the truth has a question mark. The question mark is feared and hated by liars.

Lies need the quiet authority of the full stop. Liars need the fanaticism of the exclamation mark!

Many (okay, me) say it was the exclamation mark that fired the hysteria of the Christian crusade of 1099 which massacred the Muslim people of Jerusalem. Die Infidels!!!

Before me I can see keys I rarely hit: Some hardly ever/occasionally + some never. Its a % game & all that, but I want 2 find out where these keys are @...

Wait on Heres some #. And heres a key that says delete. Wonder what happens when I


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