S Sense

Its a bit weird. Sort of rude, really.

Look, I know the moon is uninhabited. Well, not know like Id swear on a bible. Thatd be biblical knowing which is a whole other thing to begetting into.

But as far as Ive been told, theres a flickering vacancy sign swinging in the solar wind on the dark side of the silvery moon. Theres been no organised activities on the lunar sands since the Americans chipped a nine iron there years ago.

But Ive been told lies before. Deliberate lies. And that can hurt. Remember the Santa Claus thing? Weapons of mass destruction?

Anyway, theres probably no-one on the moon. But theres still something annoying about the Europeans deliberately crashing a rocket at 8000 kilometres an hour into a moon crater called Lake Excellence just to see what happens. (Well, for a start, that excellent crater is a bit, you know, Baghdad now.)

Something is dodgy here.

Have the Western Forces of Good found an Islamic terrorist cell on the moon? (Not Sunni, Mooni.) Or vast reserves of oil with little green guys who reckon its theirs. (As if. Where do these aliens get off?)

You want to look at stuff blowing up? No need to go off-planet. Theres stuff being blown up every day right here on Explosion Earth. Buildings up they go! Planes down they go! Villages bang! Trains kapow! People splat! This world is Blow Up Central.

The thing is, its not very polite to just blow stuff up. Especially when its not yours. Its vandalism.

I mean you dont go and trash a forest just cause theres no-one there and you can. (Unless youre a Tasmanian government). Thats just insensitive and I get the feeling that blowing up bits of the moon to study the resultant tonnes of dust pluming into our bit of space is just irresponsible, untidy and upsetting.

Upsetting to whom you ask (wondering if whom is the correct word to use here).


The whole exercise was supposedly to find out more about the moon. The rocket was called Smart 1. Oh really? It crashed! Now if it had landed on the moon, gathered samples, run some tests and sunk a three metre putt, THAT would be smart.

And the project cost over $200 million. You dont spend money like that unless youre trying to get re-elected or testing weaponry or selling Australian wheat.

Smart 1s quest was to find out if the moon was once part of the earth.

Well, Im here to tell all those brainiacs for nothing that the moon was formed long long ago, even before Howard, when a passing visitor from the outer planets took a potshot at what she thought was basically Terra Nullius just to see what Earth was made of (and to test the new on-saucer weaponry). And a great bloody chunk of Terra Firma flew off and became the moon. And the dinosaurs died.

So now you know.

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