S Sense

I believe that everyone should build their own home. Despite being told that expensive experts are needed, you can do it. It cant be that hard. Ive seen builders. Theyre just like us except for their black finger nails.

Its not like prehistoric man had to work for 30 years (a lifetime and a half) in the flint axe factory to pay for his cave with outside palm-leaf entertainment area and mammoth firepit (for chucking that mammoth on the barby).

I started to build my home in the bush many years ago when I found out my girlfriend was going to have a baby. (My baby, as it turned out.)

My house isnt finished yet. The Chinese say that when you finish your house you die. (The bank says when you finish paying for your house, you die.) So take your time. Dont finish... until, you know, youre ready for that heavenly retirement villa with the golden pavers. Or for the underground centrally-heated bondage basement where Ill be.

When my son was ready for school, I decided to build him his own bedroom. By the time he was 17, six ironbark poles stuck hopefully up from the ground with a pile of hail-damaged corrugated iron and a hardwood termite condominium nearby. He left home to find his own room.

His mother left soon after. She wanted her own room too, apparently. By this time, the floor joists were laid and a stud wall was up, warping in the sun. No risk of dying here.

Now there was no need to finish the room. Laziness is an energy saver.

Then my new girlfriend wanted a room. (What is it with people needing space from me?)

And she was a real motivator no room, no sex. Within a week voila! A room. (But I didnt finish the verandah because I didnt want to die.)

Anyway, last weekend, The Motivator and I are on the roof taking down the old guttering. This, of course, made it rain. Then it happened.

I hit my thumb. Really hard. With a hammer. (Made of metal, its swung hard to drive 25mm clouts into hardwood fascia board.)

Oh, the pain. My thumbnail split. I wanted to go home. (But I was home). I missed my mum. I threw away my hammer.

The Motivator (looking beautiful in a nail pouch and nothing else such a strategically placed hammer) asked, Are you crying?

No, I said. Something in my eye. Um, give me your hammer...

So the guttering remains undone. That should see extensive rain over the next while. Im over it. Completion may well kill, but even maintenance hurts. And now I have a black thumbnail.


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