Its that time of year again. Some young guy in his underwear nailed to a piece of six by four by a bunch of men more interested in preserving socially unsustainable power games than confronting reality is celebrated by the consumption of over-priced chocolate eggs and rabbits.
What does it all mean?
Well, it shows for one thing that if you buck the system, the system will get you. No matter who your father is. The good die because of our sins, not for them.
And in a culture where money is God, there is no celebration without cynical marketing and merchandising. Except (apparently) chocolate crucifixes just didnt take off. Too hard to wrap. So we celebrate the death and resurrection of Gods offspring with eggs and rabbits. (In a dubious sign of respect for our own unique wildlife we sometimes eat chocolate bilbies.)
What does it all mean?
I have a theory. (S theory #58.)
Jesus was a woman. (Settle down. Its just a theory)
I mean look at the Last Supper. As if a man could get a successful little dinner party together with wine and fresh bread all laid out on a clean tablecloth. (Same thing happened at the Sermon on the Mount where Jesus fed the whole mob with bread and fishfingers. Thats a woman weaving her nurturing magic.)
And what about Judas and that kiss of betrayal? (If it was betrayal. I think he just loved Her.)
If Jesus was a man Judas would have just shaken hands with him. Or maybe if JC was a rugby player Judas might have playfully punched him on the shoulder or something. Or if Jesus and Judas had been soccer players they would have fallen all over each other and kissed passionately.
But they werent.
So if Jesus was a woman what was that final dinner party all about?
It was about nurturing and fertility. About death and birth. About understanding cycles. Cycles that turn the planet. That create our future. Something women know instinctively. This is my blood. It comes from my body. Remember me.
Women bleed. They understand. Yep, a woman created the Christian values of love and peace. Thats why She surrounded Herself with men. No point in preaching to those who already knew; who have already bled for humanity.
Estrus. Estrogen. Easter. Eggs.
The Daughter of God understood that the future of humanity depends on a return to this old, sacred, and feminine understanding. Chuck out the moneylenders; bring in the global caring.
Jesus was a woman. And a rabbi. A female rabbi. Or as they used to say, a rabbi-ette. Or as we now say, a rabbit.