Modern Woman

Dear Ministers Bowen and Ferguson,

I UNDERSTAND the federal Australian Labor (or is that now 457 temporary work visa?) government is introducing a scheme whereby those unhappy with the current pool of degenerates, slackers, bludgers and crooks who don't have the semi-skills to fulfil specialised positions can outsource workers from another country.

This is a great and wonderful idea that will allow areas in Australia where we have not been performing at all well to compete in a global market and bring in better-qualified workers at a lower price, thereby outsourcing almost every level of the workforce to a country that previously invested in training - something Australia sensibly ignored during the "golden years of prosperity of the Howard era".

Can I please respectfully ask the next sector that you concentrate on being the NSW government, both the current lot of promise-breakers, fire-salesmen and environmental vandals and the bunch of crooks who preceded them?

I am extremely unhappy with their performance, which ranges from endangering park rangers to stray bullets, failing to inform land-holders about toxic chemical spills to dodgy real estate deals that must have Ron Medich running as fast as the gazelle-like Christopher Pyne to Sussex St to sign up for a how to do better business course.

It would be much better for the state of NSW if we could bring workers in from another country who are qualified to do the jobs of state government ministers.

I know Tony Blair is at a loose end after his stellar performance in front of the Leveson Inquiry, but with media companies in free-fall in Australia he might not have anyone to tell him what to do, so perhaps New Zealand might be a safer bet. Or Burma.

I am glad to see the end of the class war between the Labor Party (sorry, 457 Temporary Work Visa Party, I'll get used to it soon) and big mining.

Now that Wayne Swan and Clive Palmer have stopped pulling each other's pigtails and whining that if the other doesn't stop calling him names he'll steal all his friends, big mining can get back on with the important jobs of running the country and ruining sport.

I heard our Prime Minister say recently that mining companies don't own the minerals or the right to dig them up and export them for gross profit, but that the government holds those resources in trust for a sovereign people.

As the ministers for energy, resources, trade, tourism and immigration, could you perhaps answer me one question: if we don't have enough workers in our country to dig big enough holes in what is, was and always will be Aboriginal land, so the minerals beneath can be shipped off to other countries - why do you keep granting and expanding mining leases?